How do I politely say "DUH"?

I just was given the opportunity to take a class/training, through work, on Introduction to Analytical Skills. It was an interesting class for sure. During much of the class, I kept thinking that I knew a few people who might benefit from a class that tries to encourage thinking outside the box.

But today, I get a task from a Supervisor in our unit noting that an item hadn't been properly updated.

OK, here's the thing...I'm no genius and no one is perfect, but I am good at my job...dare I say, GREAT. I can say this with confidence, because everyone I work with compliments me. I take pride in my work. So to see that something wasn't done was shocking. At first I questioned myself, wondering what could have gone wrong. Perhaps I entered the wrong date?

Then I go into the system. I look, and sure enough, it's not updated for the date in question. Weird!!! But then I look again at the original paperwork. The dates originally requested were February 1, 2012 through April 1, 2012. She highlighted that April 1, 2012 through April 30, 2012, noting that they were not also updated. Then my eye catches it. Um, DUH. I can't updated "April" because the original request only goes through April 1st, not through the entire month. So, no, it did not get updated, because that is not the way the paperwork is set up.

So now I find myself having to sit back and reflect on a) Why do these people make 3x more money than me, but can't figure out this work?; and b) How do I nicely say "DUH" to a Supervisor?

I shall defer to MY Supervisor for direction. LOL. Yes, that was a work rant. It's irrelevant and changes nothing in life. It doesn't even actually affect me AT ALL. Yet, I felt the need to vent. Thanks for listening my friends!

No Feelings??

"Where did she get that phrase?" "What does it mean?" These are the questions you are probably asking yourself. Let me illuminate the situation...I have what I like to call a "no nonsense" approach to parenting. I am a tell it how it is kind of a person. That's no difference with my kids.

Picture this, several years ago, my 4 year old son comes running into the living room sobbing for, what I am well aware is, no reason! The scene progresses as such:

 

4 year old Raul: (Crying. For no reason.)

31 year old Me: (Annoyed) Why are you crying? Are you hurt?
Raul: (Still crying) He hurt my feelings!
Me: (Here it comes. The 7 words I will never live down…)
WE DON’T HAVE FEELINGS IN THIS HOUSE!

My youngest child is what my best friend refers to as a “Sensi”. He’s “sensitive”. Translation: He cries over EVERYTHING. My best friend, who is also my cousin, apparently completely understands what it is like to be so “sensitive”. I, on the other hand, do not.  If I’m physically hurt, I don’t cry (not never, but it’s rare). I know as a child, I did on occasion if the pain was horrible. But if someone hurts my feelings, I shrug it off or get pissed. I do NOT cry. I am not trying to be any sort of superhero, but seriously, I didn’t even cry during child birth. No screams. No curses. I did not blame my husband (either of them). I closed my eyes, held onto the bed rail, breathed deep and dealt with it. Now, granted, I had it easy. My labors were all under 4 hours. God bless those of you who endured 8+ hours of labor. I couldn’t imagine how horrible. But seriously, I don’t think I have patience for that long of labor anyway. It all circles back to me being a complete a-hole about feeling feelings.

But my darling, sweet, caring, sensitive baby boy wears his feelings on his sleeve, as does my teenage daughter. She’s also what Dena, my bff/cousin, calls a “sensi”. They cry a lot. My daughter cries about random things, and the older she gets, the more she cries because she is trying to be independent and we are holding her down. Or because she is a teenager and as we are all WELL aware, she knows everything. My baby boy, now he’s a good listener, and isn’t rebellious most of the time. But when he acts up, he is too busy having meltdowns to realize he’s not really even in trouble; not until he has the meltdown, at which time my head explodes and I want to wring his neck.  He doesn’t even let you finish a sentence. He hears what he perceives is a “no” and automatically the waterworks begin and he runs off down the hall crying.

That’s his coping mechanism for having an a-hole mom who says regularly, “No one wants to hear you crying! Go away.”  Here’s the things I cannot wrap my head around…WHY? I am always asking him why he is crying about things. Recently he walks in sobbing. Here was my response, which as you will learn about me, is typical of me:

Me: Why the hell are you crying?

Raul: I can’t hear the sound on the TV.
Me: (Rolls eyes) And is crying about it helping you hear it better?
Raul: (Stunned and shocked at the realization that it is not) No.
Me: Did you ever bother to think of saying, “Hey mommy, could you please help me”? Turn your tears off (I say those words VERY often).
Raul: (Wipes eyes) Mommy, could you please help me?

So I go to the TV, fix a cord and viola! It works. I am a freakin’ magician. Magically his face has changed from sorrow and despair to a regular smile. I adore THAT face. He’s a cutie-butt and KNOWS it. When he is being cute, he’s ADORABLE!  I may be an a-hole, but I love my kids with all my heart. They are, and it’s not because I’m biased, some of the cutest kids in existence. I did a great job! Not only are they cute, but they are smart. And their sole survival ability is that they ARE cute and smart, because otherwise, I may have had to end them. (Oh c’mon, Bill Cosby said it too. I wouldn’t ACTUALLY kill my children, I’m not one of those psychos. But they have made me crazy enough to speak it out loud! You’ve all thought it at one point or another. Don’t be so shocked that I had the balls to say it.)

Women's Lib? Ha!

I'm not an expert on anything, honestly. But I am very opinionated. I would like to believe that I was raised a certain way, and I also believe that my beliefs NOW differ slightly in some ways. I've been accused of being selfish in the past when I want to have a "girls night out" (once or twice a month). And it infurated me. I've been told to get my priorities straight and "think of how your husband feels." That leaves me bewildered.

A friend (currently in her 4th month of pregnancy) recently was having some issues with her husband and people keep telling her to be patient. That, of course, infurated her. She said to me, "I can see why it would upset you when people tell you to be a better wife. LOL. Why do people get to act like idiots and it's everyone else's fault but theirs??" My answer turned into a rant. Please excuse the language:

Because people like to think about the way things “used to be”. Well now, in the 21^st Century, it’s not about the husband going to work and the wife keeping house and raising kids. That life doesn’t exist. For some people it does, but it’s not realistic. The idea of women doing anything else but raise children used to be unheard of. Now, we have more women working than men probably (not sure on that statistic).

 But NOW, since we work all day too, why would we NOT expect our husbands to keep house and raise our children? Turn-about is fair play, is it not? Why shouldn’t it be? I don’t fucking care if I can vote. I don’t care if a man makes more money than I do. I care that my husband, my partner, is expected to be MY PARTNER. They are OUR children. It is OUR house. You don’t want to/can't work? Well, then you get to keep house. It’s that simple. If we both worked, we would be expected to split more responsibilities.

And no one batted an eye back in the day when men went to “gentleman clubs” or bowling leagues or moose lodges, or played sports with their friends or went out for a drink after work. It was expected to be the norm. WHY NOT FOR US? My mom KNOWS what it is like to be oppressed by her husband who won’t work. She was just brainwashed for so many years that “women have a place” and I don’t buy into that bullshit. My place is wherever the fuck I choose it to be.

 Yes, that’s a rant. I don’t care. You work hard. You own a freaking house. You are currently creating a child. Bringing life into the world. Can your husband do that? NOPE. He couldn’t own a home on his own. He BARELY owns a car. He couldn’t create a child. He is absolutely expected to pick up slack when you cannot…even if the reason is that you are too tired. Ridiculous. Just ridiculous.

 

Her response was golden. We are friends for a reason. LOL. She replied: *slow clap*

And there, my friends, is a glimpse into the way my brain works. Not to be rude, but I don't care who agrees with me. It is MY opinion. We're all entitled to have one of our own. I hope you stick around though. There's so much more that goes along with it. XOXO

THIS...

This is why I do what I do. This is why I struggle every day. This is why I stress and worry and nag and roll my eyes and get headaches and feel defeated and act like a world class b*tch. This is why my heart beats. This is what keeps me going and encourages me. This is where my joy is. But do not get it confused, no matter how much I love them and how many emotions they stir in me, WE DON'T HAVE FEELINGS IN THIS HOUSE!

Disclaimer: That's not me dressed as a Storm Trooper. I have much better aim!