Fed Up With Common Core

So I wrote a letter to the teacher and the principal. I hate common core, that is no secret. I always did from the beginning. I tried to be positive and encourage the kids to do it the way the teacher was teaching, even if I didn't agree with it. But now I've managed to have short, harsh words with most everyone in my house because I'm beyond angry about the stupidity behind common core.

My letter is as follows:

Good evening. 

I am concerned with this math my son has brought home. I'm sure you here constant complaints about common core. This will be one of those complaints and it will probably sound very rude. I apologize in advance.

My son has been working on his math for hours. HOURS. He has to do mental math. Then he has to make some sort of break down? At what point do we do math facts? I've never seen anything where they practice math memorization. If he doesn't know his times tables, how can he break them down? Why aren't we teaching these? Yes, I need to get him flash cards, that's obvious at this point. But why can't we line up the numbers, multiply & carry? Because as you are well aware, you will never use this common core method in the real world. I have taken business math and accounting classes. Guess what? No mental math. No common core. It is cut and dry math. And you have to figure it out manually or with a calculator, but you don't have to break it down because no idiot in the real world is going to do that. No one has time for that. Time is money. And if it takes hours to do the work, then you are losing out on money.

Is he a top student? Nope. Does he struggle anyway? Yes. But he's sitting at the table crying. Now I'm yelling at how stupid this is and my husband is complaining about how stupid this is. And now I'm annoyed with Raul for crying and our entire night is wrapped up in this stupid math. 

If we do not understand how to do it, how are we supposed to help him? And before you suggest that we attend the math night, know that my work schedule will not allow me to attend. And it wouldn't matter because common core is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. I've tried to ignore the excessive steps it takes in common core through these lessons. I've tried to adapt and learn what you're asking. Math is hard enough on its own for people who struggle with math. But now you've thrown all these curve balls and confused the kids and the parents. (NOT YOU, obviously, the "system").

I'm so pissed off right now. I'm frustrated at this way of learning, which still doesn't make sense and he's not my first kid to learn it. Luckily my other kids are more gifted at math than I am, or than Raul is. I yelled at my son for crying about homework. How ridiculous is that? But that's how frustrated he and I are.He's crying because he doesn't know what to do. He's crying because he knows he's going to get in trouble for doing it the "wrong way" but his parents only know a normal way. You want him to "mental math" and guess at how to do it. THEN once he's spent time doing that, he has to break it down? Why can't he just do regular math???? 

My husband is helping him the only way WE know how. So hopefully he doesn't get in trouble for not completing the work the right way. Because we've had just enough of this idiotic math for the day. We're all beyond frustrated. It should not take him hours to do his homework. He's in 4th grade, for God's sake. 

My understanding was that common core was going to teach kids that there's not only one way to learn. Which is true. Some kids might understand it. But if it is taking hours to do it that way, then obviously, for this type of problem, it's not the way for Raul. That being said, he should be allowed to use the other methods that make more sense. Usually he can power through it but not right now. So he's trying to figure it out while I sit here writing this angry message because I can't seem to help my 9 year old with his homework!

Signed, a Very Frustrated & Fed Up Parent






**RESPONSE FROM TEACHER**


1st, immediate response: Thank you for sharing your frustration.  Please, take his paper and put it away.  He is done with it.  I will respond with more but homework should not lead to this much frustration.


2nd, next day response: I appreciate you letting me know Raul was struggling with the mental math strategy, and completely understand your frustration.  At no point do I ever want homework to get to this point for any of my students or their parents.  If this should happen again and he brings home something that he isn't understanding after you have worked on it for at most a half hour, send me an email, let me know you have tried, but he needs more help on it in class.  Initial the page so I remember when I am recording the work that we talked about it and I will help him on it more at school.  He will not be in trouble for the assignment being incomplete, he tried, but needs more help, and that's ok.

I will try to address some of your concerns on common core, but we can also talk a bit more about them at conference too.  I do understand your frustration with all the different strategies and how they are very different than how we were taught to do math using one algorithm.  We will get to the algorithm.  Since the beginning of the year we have been encouraging the students to memorize their multiplication math facts as they were suppose to know them at the end of third grade.  Most of the students didn't, so we have been doing almost weekly fact tests to monitor student progress in learning those facts.  Along with that we have been teaching different strategies that a student can use to solve a multiplication problem.  Personally I agree with you mental math or compensation is not the strategy I would choose to use, however it is a strategy students need to be familiar with based on what we are required to teach.  Yesterday when I taught the lesson most of the students, Raul included, seemed to be doing fairly well with understanding how to use the strategy so I did not for see a problem in sending half the page for homework last night and the rest tonight. I was not in the room today during math as I was pulled for a meeting so I did not review it in class today, which may be part of the problem and frustration.  For that I apologize.  It is my intent to send homework that the students can do independently or with minimal parent help.  I will check in with him tomorrow and see if we can work past his frustration.

As far as using different methods you are correct, the point of common core is to teach students there are multiple ways to solve a math problem and to teach them to think their way through a problem not just rely on always being able to plug numbers into an algorithm.  After we teach a few different strategies, we will teach the algorithm.  We teach the algorithm last because we want students to understand why the algorithm works.  If they understand the longer process of breaking it apart into groups they understand why the algorithm works, why we carry numbers and that what we are carrying is really a ten or a hundred, not a one.
I know math is an area at is harder for Raul and I definitely do not want to confuse him with what I am teaching.  You are correct, he will find one or two strategies that he likes and that he will use and others that he will not use or not like and that is ok, but at this point we need him to understand how each of the strategies work so that he can decide if that is a strategy he wants to use or not.  We will do some more work with this strategy in class so hopefully he will feel less frustrated with it and can hopefully be comfortable enough with it to explain it to you too.

Again, I apologize that homework was so frustrating tonight.  And please if this should happen again, please stop after a half hour put it away and send me a message.  I will reteach the next day.  Homework is not intended to ruining a family evening.

Knock, Knock

Knock, knock!
Who's There?
Zoo!
Zoo, Who?
Zoo bad I wasn't paying attention!


Having a mommy fail moment! I was finishing my lunch break with my buddy and I turn to him in the elevator...


Me: Raul is on a field trip to the zoo today. He's super excited!
Friend: Oh? Which one? Folsom or Sacramento?
Me: {{dumbfounded}} ....I...would be a better mom if I knew!
Random lady in elevator: ::laughing::


Oh my gosh! Epic Fail. I'm going to assume my hubby knows because he filled out the permission slip. In my defense, I paid for the trip AND made him a yummy lunch to take!


::FACE PALM::

Dear Ex-Husband:

Did you ever think, 19 years and some odd months ago, that one day, the woman you shared your bed, your child, your bank account, your dreams and your life with, would be someone that you hate? Could you ever have imagined a world where the person who shared most of your firsts with you was someone you wished ill will on to the point of accusations, stalking and a 12 year legal battle? I wonder, did you go into the relationship knowing that you had fully intended to control every aspect of your partner and your future children? Did you know you had that in you? At 21, did you even know yourself to know what kind of a life you wanted? Did it occur to you that, at 17, your wild minded wife wasn't just 'going through a phase'? That maybe she was actually that wild and independent?


No, I don't suppose you realized any of those things. You had big dreams. I will give you that much. Trying to find your niche in college. Trying to become a mechanic. Wanting to own a home by the time you were 25. They were good dreams. I suppose I ruined them, much like the rest of your life. I came in, this cute little 16 year old package of dynamite and I blew up your world. I mean, it's no wonder you were taken by me. I was adventurous, pretty, smart, personable and outgoing: everything you were not. And that's ok. Opposites attract, right? Unfortunately, not all combinations go well together. Water and oil you can mix together and make a cake at least. But oil and gasoline can never be a positive mixture. It just ends in disaster.




We were young and we were stupid. Both college students having no real world experience, coming from opposite ends of the spectrum. Big family girl meets homebody. See, the difference is, someone from a big family can fit in with anyone. We're surrounded by a million different personalities all mixed in. But someone who is more of a quiet loner doesn't really understand, can't really understand, the huge family dynamic. But that's ok. It's honestly a catch 22. If we would have slowed down and gotten to know each other better before jumping into pregnancy and marriage, then we would have realized a few months in that we didn't really like each other. But, then again, we wouldn't have the two amazing children that we share. And that would be a travesty to the world to not get to know them. They are two of the most amazing people that God could have created.


The problem is, that control thing never has worked for me. I'm not very good at being told what to do. I'm no rebel by any means. I listened to my parents growing up (you know...until the whole 17 year old pregnancy thing). I follow rules. I obey laws. I do what I'm told at work. But being ordered around isn't really my bag, ya feel me? I like adventure and newness. I like throwing caution to the wind. I like being spontaneous. Unfortunately, you could never understand this line of thought. You are safe. And that's ok, it's who you are.


You see, we brought two children into this world. And for better or worse, their personalities have developed. They have a LOT of my personality traits: wild, adventurous, free-spirited, passionate, athletic. They learned many of your traits as well. When I argue with them, I feel like I'm arguing with you. It's almost amusing. Almost. They see things one way and cannot seem to see it any other way but how they perceive it. I guess it has its pros and cons. I fear you will never know the true spirit that resides in these two.


Our daughter is beautiful on the outside, but so much more on the inside! She is a caregiver. Her heart bleeds for everyone. She wants to fix everybody's problems. She's a people pleaser. The trick is trying to teach her which people to she can and cannot fix. She has ambitions. She's strong. She's independent. She's the most trustworthy person I've ever met. She wants to be appreciated and she wants to feel important and understood.


Our son, naturally, is so drastically different than most people in the world. He's overly logical. He's one of the smartest people I've ever met. I wish he'd use his brains to the potential in which he is capable. He's daring and dangerous. He's handsome, so handsome he is pretty. He's a natural talent. He learns things immediately and never has to second guess himself. He's just good at everything. He's ornery. He's got a little devil in his grin but his eyes are all angel. Truth be told, he's a momma's boy. He's strong. But he wants validation too. He needs people to listen when he talks. He doesn't say much, so when he does, he demands attention.


They are so different in some ways, and very much the same in others. They deserve everything in the world, and I have no doubt that they can achieve it.


But then there's us. We're holding them back. We are both stubborn, which is where they learned it. We are both determined, which is where they learned it. We both have taken a stance. There may not be one person able to say which of us is right and which isn't, or that we're both right, or that neither of us are. Just our children. They see the struggles. They form their opinions. They have their own stances. I cannot deny them my undying loyalty. They are my world. I couldn't sleep at night knowing that I didn't fight for them. And I don't meant fight to have them all to myself. I mean fight to have their thoughts validated. I don't have to agree, I just have to care enough to listen and try to make life work around everyone's opinion.


And that, ex-husband, is what I'm doing. You don't have to agree. I know you hate me, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that the children have parents that are at odds with one another. Contrary to your belief, I do not hate you. I hate that we have had to go through these roller coasters of battles. I hate that the kids feel conflicted. I want peace. I want for you to understand where I'm coming from. I do see what you're wanting. I know you want to be with them more often. I'm sorry they are choosing to not be with you more. I can only hope and pray they change their perspective as they grow older.
I do pray for this, nightly. I pray that God's will is done. Only the Lord knows what will happen. I pray that he opens my heart to see what you are saying and lead me on a path for the children's best interest. I pray that he softens your heart to see what the children are asking.


We keep asking the court to help us, but only God can. You are responsible for you and I am responsible for me. I do believe I am following a path that is right for the children. I have promised before to encourage the children. I hope and pray you also work towards a better relationship with them.


This isn't easy. I don't like you as a person. I think you make life more difficult than it needs to be. I do appreciate that you love our children. I appreciate that you have always worked and shown them what work ethic looks like. I appreciate that you love your parents. I know you have derived lessons from your family history that you believe is the right path for you. And it well may be. But you are not your father. And our son is not you. You had to find your own path and so must he. Hopefully one day our daughter will find it in her heart to forgive you and hopefully you will find it in your heart to ask forgiveness.


We only get them for a short time before they go off on their own to live their own lives. My goal is to have them be the most productive members of society possible, while learning how to handle themselves in stressful situations and conflict, while still loving others. I pray that as they grow and mature, they will continue to seek my guidance in their lives, as I seek the guidance of my mother and grandmother. I would like them to be able to come to you for guidance as well.  But that is a story for you to tell. That is a goal for you to make, should you choose to make it. But I hope some day you look back and see that at the end of the day, I did everything for our kids that I could do. And someday I hope you find the necessary method for being their confidant and ally. I don't know what it will take, but I'm pretty sure blaming me for the disconnect will not solve the problem. So I wish you good luck. Let me know if I can help. I know you won't ask for help, but I'm offering it anyway.


Much of my being is no longer that 17 year old girl learning how to navigate freedom. I'm seasoned. I've been through a lot. I've loved, I've lost, I've learned. Every day I learn something new. Every day I try to be a better me for my family. There are still parts of me who cling to the freedom, the independence and the adventure, I just find it within the spirits of my children. That's how I know I did something right.

Influenster Target Dry Spray - YES PLEASE

So, a while ago, I joined this site called influenster.com. My hubster is the one who first ever told me about it, go figure. From time to time, they send products to try and recently, I received a box (they're called VoxBoxes) for Dove Dry Spray deodorant. I have had spray deodorants before, but this one is seriously way different!


First of all, it's exactly what it sounds like. Dry+Spray. It's SUPER cool. It dries quickly and smells nice. I put it on this morning and still smell awesome...I just did a pit check. I love the feeling of NOT smelling like B.O. I mean, hopefully no one likes that feeling.


Anyway, I like it. There was one for the hubster in there too, so I'm going to get him to start using it and see what HE thinks. Men are far more stinky than women, so we'll see if it can keep up. I urge you to try it. The aerosol doesn't make you feel like you're choking either, which is nice. I hate that feeling when you spray something and then it permeates the air. Luckily, this product doesn't do that.


TRY IT!

Your White Stepdad

*I had this in my drafts and thought now a good time to publish*


SO, I haven't always had cable. So I missed out on a lot of shows that I'm not catching up on. My girlfriends and I would get together on Sunday evenings and watch True Blood while it was on. I saw the first 3 seasons and religiously watched. Then for whatever reasons, I missed most of 4 and 5. But I've been catching up. Now, it's an HBO show, which means strong language, violence and sexual scenes. Naturally, the kids can't really be around for parts of the show.


But last night, I'm watching Season 6. It was the last two episodes of the season and the boys are running in and out of the room and playing their handheld games. So at one point, the hubby comes in and sits and starts watching with me. He is interested in the show but hasn't been as dedicated as I have to catching up. So he asks a few questions to catch up. So much is going on and he turns to me and the following conversation happens as my 12 year old son comes in and sits down:


Husband: Where's Eric?
Son: Who's Eric?
Me: (to son) Your white step dad.
Son: Wait. What?
Me: {{Swooning}}


I'm just saying...Eric Northman is a Viking Adonis. I have a slight crush on him.

My reputation precedes me!

I emailed my doctor to report that I've had an ongoing mild fever for about a week. He called to double check my symptoms. I have NO symptom, other than the fever and occasional body aches, but Motrin makes me feel right as rain most of the time. So, he says I have a viral syndrome. Not "the flu" but something similar and viral. He says I'm contagious and that I should take time off. I told him that I have no sick time because of surgery, so he tells me, "OK, just don't be kissing up on people at work."

Who told him my history? How did he KNOW...?

For those of you just tuning in, I kind of have this reputation for kissing a lot of people. I don't know how it started or why. But once, when I was maybe 14 or 15, and I had already kissed about 3-5 people, my dear friend at school, April, and I decided to have a kissing contest. Originally, it was going to just be for one day. Somehow it evolved into a week? I'm not sure. It was a long time ago.

Anyway, I had skyrocketed my numbers up to, I believe, 18 within a week? I think I won by 1 person. Since she and I were friends, we had practically the same circle of friends, so naturally, all of our guy friends were fine with letting us "use" them to tally numbers. I happened to know someone else she didn't, so I won. That's neither here nor there. Then, I couldn't stop!

For whatever reason, that contest set off something in my brain. Or in my mouth. I'm not sure which. I discovered in that little experiment that I LOVE kissing. Love it. I could do that all day. And I did for the rest of high school. And after. Now, I know that sounds slutty, but I was literally ONLY kissing these boys. No funny business with the majority of them unless maybe I liked them a little bit more than a friend...then they could touch my butt or something. But honestly, just kissing.

People always say kissing is so intimate. That you should only kiss people you deeply care about. I think it's a fun way to say, "Hey, you're a fun friend." Personally, I don't think kissing is more intimate than making love, which I've heard. I just enjoy it. Do what you love & love what you do, isn't that how the saying goes? I mean, I got married for the second time now, so that has obviously curtailed my ongoing experiment, but I just find it hilarious that even my doctor, who I've literally only met once, had already gotten the memo!

**Girls Just Wanna Have Fun**

Keyboard Legs

Trying to make the best out of an uncomfortable situation. This stupid boot is uncomfortable enough, but trying to sit and type with your foot elevated off to the side is simply not possible. If I have my foot out and elevated (because I can't fit it under my desk to prop it up), I'm wrenched sideways trying to type. Not so good on the back. If I put my foot down under my desk to sit forward, then it's not elevated and it swells.

In November 2013 they did an Ergonomic Evaluation of my workspace. It was determined that I needed a keyboard tray, a footstool, some sort of standing clipboard for papers, and a wireless ergonomic mouse. I also was eligible for Reasonable Accommodation for a special chair that fits my body size: TINY. I couldn't fit in regular chairs because my body frame is too small and my legs dangled over the side and I couldn't touch the ground and couldn't sit back properly in the chair. Also, the arms of the chair were positioned so far out that my shoulders hurt and my hands would fall asleep. Somehow, I got the $1,400 chair in no time flat.

In approximately April 2014 I finally got the wireless mouse. We "found" a footstool at a cubicle that was uninhabited so we never pursued that part. But I really wanted that keyboard tray. Then I could stand up from time to time as well...which is ergonomically recommended. But alas, I never got it, and everyone seemed to drop the ball stating that "well, it's the state...you know how they work." SIGH.

Fast forward to preparing for surgery! My doctor wrote a note stating that it was mandatory for me to keep my foot elevated as often as possible. So they (my work) were to order a special stool for under my desk. I took this opportunity to remind them that I never did get that keyboard tray. Then of course, everyone is pointing fingers. 1) Did the paperwork get filled out? Turns out it did. 2) Well did Procurement get it? I have no idea. 3) Did you ask someone to install it? Um, how could I ask someone to install it when it never arrived?  And so on. My boss basically says, "All I can do is fill out the forms." Which is true really. I probably sound like a whiny brat, but seriously, I can't work like that!

I never did get the stool either. Not sure where that is in their priority order. So, here I sit. I don't even care who comes by and sees it. I do have a doctor's note after all. And if they don't accommodate my medical (ADA qualified by the way) need, then this is what they will find! I just wish it was a little more comfortable.